Looking Back, Looking Forward: New Year's Eve 2009

Today is December 31, 2008. This is my bittersweet goodbye to a year that has changed my life forever. I spent a good portion of 2008 (just about 10 months) either sick, in the hospital, or at home recovering from surgery, my head swimming in a mix of pain medication and uncertainty. I got my liver transplant, my new chance at a healthy life, only to have severe rejection, ongoing bile duct issues, fevers, vomiting, and finally a second surgery which seems to have quieted the chaos. All told, I spent over two months in the hospital. Before I was transplanted, I was months away from dying from liver failure, much sicker than my seemingly healthy exterior belied.

In February, weeks after being released from my first hospital stay of 2008, and during a period of relative health, I proposed to girlfriend, Trine, on the beach in Miami. It was sunset proposal without any sun (oops…sun doesn't set over here) and stubborn candles that refused to stay lit, but amidst the warm breeze and palm tree dotted white sand, Trine said she would be my wife. We celebrated on the beach with music and a bottle of sparkling cider.


Now the hard part: planning a wedding. Then the harder part: paying for it. Our saving grace was a casting call for a new reality show that was looking for a couple tied to organ donation & transplantation that were deserving of their dream wedding. I was in the hospital when we first heard about this contest. Trine convinced me to suck it up, put off pain medication for a few hours, and make a couple videos talking about why WE should be that deserving couple. You would think that me just being in the hospital, sick and bordering on depression, would make us a natural pick, but ironically, the show wanted to be sure that my health would NOT be an issue and prevent us from getting married should we actually get picked. It was a long shot, and I'd be lying if I said that I was excited about making the videos in the condition I was in, but I knew that I would regret not giving it a try. So I tried to look as healthy as possible and we made a series of videos. Little known fact: Trine totaled her car trying to get our video to Fed Ex by 5 p.m. (not her fault).


So we made our videos, including an update a few weeks later once I was released from the hospital, just to assure the casting director that I was in tip-top shape should we be the lucky couple. Then….nothing. A few months went by with no word.


In October (just shortly after my second surgery), we got a call from the producers of Wedding Day, the new reality show from TNT. We were one of the top 3 couples in line to win a dream wedding! We spent hours filling out surveys and questionnaires, speaking on the phone, making our guest list, and contacting our friends and family about our 33% chance of getting picked to be married on national television. Sometimes, we were really positive about our chances, while other times the producer would use the word "if" and we would get discouraged and wonder if something this good could happen to us.


In mid-December, we got the news! We had won our dream wedding!!! Trine and I embraced, and shed a few tears of happiness. Then….well, I cannot really divulge much else due to confidentiality agreements. I would love to post pictures and give all the amazing details of the week leading up to our incredible wedding, I cannot do so until our show airs in summer 2009. Those who were attendance know what a great time the wedding was. Mr. and Mrs. Ryan and Trine Labbe cannot wait for all our episode to air so we can relive the experience. I would also like to thank all our friends and family who worked their asses off to make our wedding happen.


Liver Transplant
In May 2008, I received the gift of life from an unknown donor. Throughout the past seven months it has been a lot easier to focus on my health issues than to sit and really think about how I came to receive my transplant. Unfortunately, a young man had to die. I know very little about my donor, as is standard. All I know is it was a local man whose family made a tough decision in the face of their tragedy. I want to take this opportunity to thank them, even though we do not know each other. Perhaps one day we will know each other and I can thank them in person, like Trine got the opportunity to do with her donor family earlier this year. Her donor sister, Keisha, was a bridesmaid in our wedding. For now, as cheesy as it sounds, I feel as if I owe it to my donor family to make a good life for myself, a life that I would not have if it were not for their generosity. I need to show them, and myself, that their son's death was not in vain.


Please read my Transplant blogs (parts 1 through 4) for my account of the past year and half.


Wilson
One day, while at the dog park with our puggle Niles, Trine and I got to talking about how happy Niles would be if he had a friend to play with all the time. He was so good with other dogs, and we knew that having another dog would give Niles a regular outlet for his energy, alongside our daily walks and trips to the dog park . "I would not get another puggle," Trine said. So, Trine got online and began looking for medium sized dogs, perhaps a Boston Terrier. I heard an "awww" from the other room and saw the face of a tiny little puggle on the computer screen. We both agreed he was adorable and still available for purchase. We scooped up Niles and headed to the pet store with the outward intention of "just looking" but we both knew that this dog was ours, assuming he hit it off with Niles.


When we got to the pet store, the puggle was there waiting for us. We had the clerk put us all in a little play area and the little puggle, who we named Wilson per our discussion in the car, began wagging his curly little tail and licking my face. Niles gave little Wilson kisses and then tried to mount him. Wilson snapped and barked at him. Niles would not trying mounting Wilson again for months. Little Wilson did not take any crap from Niles, but the two got along great. We took Wilson home and welcomed him into our family. Today, the two dogs wrestle constantly, make a lot of noise, eat at our carpets sometimes and chew the crap out of any stuffed toys they get their paws on. But they are the greatest dogs and I love them very much.


Goals for 2009
I have high hopes for the coming year. I just joined a gym, have worked out twice, but know that to accomplish my goals and get back in the shape I was two years ago, it is going to take a lot of work, and certainly more than going to the gym a couple times a month.


My music has suffered throughout the year, as well. Before I moved to Miami, I had played my first two solo acoustic shows and it was thrilling. In 2009, I aim to get back to writing, recording, and playing music.


Being out on disability was hard on all fronts, including financial. In 2009, I aim to improve my money management skills and chip away my credit card debt. I also aim to borrow more money than I need from a major money lending institution, with no real means to pay it back, and send our economy into a downward spiral hahaha…wait…oh, right.


I am a husband now, and though Trine and I do not have children, we consider our dogs part of the family. Trine's dream to go to medical school may be realized very soon and it will be a happy, yet challenging part of our lives. In my vows to her, I promised to help her "shoulder our challenges" and will do that. I want our first year of marriage to be amazing. We've already outlasted Britney Spears' first marriage and, in just three days, we will have outlasted Eddie Murphy's recent nuptials.


Now, I have a new wife, new puppy, new liver and finally…a new year. Here's to hoping 2009 holds all the joy of 2008 with none of the pain, hospitalizations or Sarah Palin.