Thursday, April 28, 2011

Wasn't Obama Black Three Years Ago, Too?

Hey everyone, it's been a long time since I've written anything. Just coming by to weigh in on a bunch of crap that's contributing to my inevitable mental breakdown.

Wow, That’s Quite a Change
I heard this one the Biggest Loser the other night. A former contestant, once overweight and miserable, now thin and happy said, “I’ve changed my life 360 degrees.” Really? Well, you still suck at geometry. What she meant was that she changed her life 180 degrees, meaning the opposite of what it was. Saying you’ve made a 360 degree change basically says you’re right back to where you were before.

How Do We Prove Hawaii’s Not a State?
I am sure you are all aware that Obama produced a copy of his birth certificate this week so that these birther jackasses (and Donald Trump) can finally see that he was born in the United States, in Hawaii. Will this end the debate over his citizenship? Perhaps. Probably some of the more hardcore will try to find loopholes stating that Hawaii wasn’t technically a state when Obama was born. Others I am sure will keep digging and researching just trying to find the old photos with Obama and Osama Bin Laden playing cards or maybe with Obama at an Al Queda mixer. Others will simply move on. Ok, he’s a U.S citizen. But, uh-oh, he’s black. All things we’ve known for years that somehow are still an issue.

My neck feels a little stiff.

You know, when Obama was elected I had an inking of a thought that maybe, juuuuust maybe, we had progressed a tiny bit as a society. Ok, gays still can't marry most places, but maybe skin color didn’t matter quite as much as I thought. WRONG. We’ve moved on from thinking Obama could be a terrorist. Now, we’re focusing on something that is actually is: Black. Donald Trump, who may be considering a bid for president, is doing himself considerable damage by basically coming out and questioning if Obama’s grades were good enough, which is racist white guy code for "did he get in just because he was black?" (Or in the case of D. Trump, doesn't that frog faced, roadkill haired lunatic only get laid by hot models because he's rich?).

These same people probably never questioned if George Dub-yah only got into Yale because of his daddy. Seriously, you wanna critize Obama? Do it for his politics and policies. Not the color of skin. Idiots.

My head hurts.

On related, and almost as stupid, note, the wife of the doctor who delivered Obama (as in when he was born) has come forward. She said she is overwhelmed by the revelation. Aggggggghhhh. You know what overwhelms me? The fact that is fucking news!!! In a “no shit" moment, she said: "Physicians honor the confidentiality of their patients so he never said anything to me about this, and at that time, we had no way of knowing that President Obama was going to be president.” How in the hell would you ever remember one baby you delivered almost 50 years ago? "Oohh I got a feeling this one's gonna grow up to be the president."

Why is my nose bleeding?

What is this Royal Wedding You Speak Of?
Well, everyone, it’s almost that time. Wow, I can’t believe it. Only a few days away and then….nah, just kidding. I don’t give a half a shit about this. I only care so far as to say I can’t wait till it’s over. I do not, will not ever, understand the obsession with Prince Wiliam, Kate Middleton, Prince Harry, Prince Albert, etc. etc. I just don’t. Hey quick note to Kate Middleton: It won’t end well.

I just went blind

Thank You, Bankers
When BP had the oil spill, killed a bunch of people and wildlife, and royally screwed the Gulf area up, they aired commercials of local folks defending BP and talking about how great BP was about financially helping out businesses affected by the oil spill. Why not do that with the housing crisis? Have some woman come on TV saying something like:

“When the housing bubble burst, and people were thrown out of their homes because they could no longer afford enormous payments on the houses they had no business buying in the first place, I was able to get a foreclosure on a $600,000 house for only $23,000. Thank you, rich scumbag bankers, for making my dream come true.” I mean, when these banker assholes get out of jail, I oughta....oh, wait that's right.

Someone please call 911.