Hello, sports fans!
Get it? Cuz the SuperBowl was just the other day and...oh, fuck it. I can't hide my disappointment that the Patriots couldn't pull off a perfect season. Nor could I suppress my laughter as Eli Manning tried to sound coherent in his post game interview. I guess we know which Manning brother has the on-camera skills and which one just sounds like a goofy Mississippi mud moose. Miami Dolphins fans are soothing their disappointment over what a horrific season they had this year by the fact that their 1972 team's perfect season record is still in tact. And that's your sports wrap-up.
So basically, I came up with a list of a few more items that leaving me wondering if I'm the only one, hence the title of my blog.
Am I the only one annoyed by these television ads that make is seem like having gray hair is the end of the world? Ok, first off, I do not have gray hair, but I'm pretty sure that gray hair does not make one a social outcast. Secondly, these idiots in these ads look like 25 year olds who've had their heads shoved in the ashes of someone's fireplace. No gray hair on anyone I've ever seen looks that unnatural and stupid. And what about the commercial with the two kids who want their father to be "marketable" again so they give him some hair dye to rid himself of grays. How insane is that? I'm sure those kids are the reason the father has gray hair in the first place. Anyone who's raising such meddlesome brats has got to be at his wits end.
Am I the only one who wonders why homeless people always hang out in the same place? There's a lot of homeless folk down here in Miami and they're always on the same benches day after day. I mean, if you have nowhere to be, why not travel a little bit; try out some new benches or take some walks and meet people.
Am I the only one who thinks that professional athletes should not be allowed to talk on television after a game? I don't think I've ever gleaned anything useful from a post game interview. Then again, interviewers rarely ask an intelligent question in the first place so you can't really expect the athletes' comments to have much value. For example, "So tell me, how did you guys win that game?" Athlete says, "Well, you know what I'm saying, we just went out there and played the best we could, you know? We made passing plays, we made some running plays, and we scored some points, you know? Basically, we just scored more points than the other team, you know?"
Then the interview cuts to the core of the athlete by asking, "How do you feel?" The athlete then pours out his soul: "Good, you know? I feel good. It's a good feeling, ya know, to feel good. It was a good game and we came out feeling good. Good." Ah, well done.
Am I the only one who realizes that regardless of a woman's weight and body type, wearing jeans without back pockets makes her butt look enormous?
Am I the only one who thinks Barack Obama sounds like WWE wrestler turned actor Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson? I want to see him get elected president just so he can end his inauguration speech with, "If ya smeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell what Ba-ROCK is cookin'!"
Am I the only one who thinks that men who solicit prostitutes should NOT be categorized as sex offenders? There's a huge difference between a guy who diddles a bunch of kids and one who pays some chick in hot pants for a blow job. Soliciting a hooker is essentially a victimless crime. Infidelity is immoral, but it's not illegal and it's certainly no one else's business, aside from the man and his significant other. All the risks associated with paying a woman for sex fall right back on the man, i.e. destroying his marriage (if applicable) or getting a disease.
Ok, back to work.
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