Commercial Failures

Hey all,

Ok, first up. The freakin' Red Sox did it again!! World Series champs for the second time in four years! Curse? What Curse? Perhaps that Yankees will be dealing with their own curse now that their golden boy A-Rod has decided to seek employment elsewhere. I'm stoked to see what the 2008 season has in store. In the meantime, I'm perfectly happy to watch the Patriots destory everything and everyone in their path.

Halloween is almost here and I've yet to watch any horror movies lately. I will be fixing that by checking out Saw IV tomorrow night after work. Otherwise, it'll be a low key Halloween for Trine and I. Since we live in a gated apartment complex, I'm not expecting many trick or treaters. I have no clue how many kids live in the building. I don't think I've actually seen any. I was tempted to repost my blog from Halloween last year; the one that's actually about Halloween. This one, as you'll notice, is not. Please check it out and comment if you like. Or keep reading. Or both. Yes, do both. Thanks!!

Please, No Moshing
Being a musician, as well as fan of music, occasionally I go to concerts. I used to go a lot more when I was younger, but now it's tapered off quite a bit. Concerts really haven't changed since I was a lad, but I've grown less tolerant of the whole atmosphere. I've noticed that the younger the audience, the more ridiculous they are. For example, over the past two weeks I've seen New Found Glory, a pop-punk band who sing primarily about girls, and Nonpoint, a pretty awesome metal band, headlining the Great American Rampage Tour. Now, judging from those two shows, which one would you expect to be more violent? I think you see where I'm going with this.

The New Found Glory show had the most fights and disrespectful people in the audience than I've ever seen. While the Nonpoint show spawned a couple of altercations, the average age of the audience was a few years older, more adept at handling their liquor, and generally more mature. Now, this theory has its limits. I've yet to hear of any brutal fist fights occurring at a Wiggles show. Though, I could be wrong.

Another thing about concerts is that crowd surfing is nowhere near as cool as depicted on television. On TV or in the movies, when someone decides to crowd surf, it's team effort. The person is lifted up over the audience and the crowd actually carries them to front of the stage. The person is smiling and the crowd loves it. All in all, it looks awesome. In reality though, the crowd couldn't give a fuck about the person crowd surfing and wants nothing more than to drop their nasty ass on the floor. Basically, the main goal is to get the surfer's sweaty crotch away from your face. Most people get dropped in the middle of the crowd before they even reach the stage. If you do make it to the front of the stage, you'll most likely be manhandled by one of the bouncers hopped up on steroids and anti-depressants stemming from the realization that their job consists primarily of putting high school kids in headlocks.

But before you even get to the concert, you have to buy the ticket, and with the ticket purchase come convenience fees. How else do you pay $64 for two $20 tickets? The ticket outlets charge outrageous fees. I don't like the term 'convenient.' Yes, if I sit on my butt and order the tickets via the internet, that is convenient and, though I don't like it, I understand why I'm paying the fee. But how do they justify calling it a convenience fee when I have to get in my car and drive to a local ticket outlet, stand in line and wait for some high school drop out to finish his Orange Julius and get me my tickets? Really, folks, it's a psychological thing. Do I mind paying $30 for a concert ticket? No. What bugs me is when the ticket is $20 with an additional 50% tacked on in bullshit fees. I wish they'd just plug the fees in to the cost of the ticket.

Commercial Failure
Is it just me or do there seem to be an extraordinary amount of stupid commercials on TV. Maybe I'm just more observant, or more pissed off, but I'm noticing more and more ads that just annoy the hell out of me.

Here's a few:

I'm downright sick of Taco Bell. The Cheesy Beefy Melt? Seriously, could Taco Bell any less creative? And then there's the commercial where the older brother schools his younger brother on some of life's little rules, i.e. never buy a lapdog, never date a girl with a dragon tattoo and always put chili on your Nachos BellGrande. Then his girlfriend with the dragon tattoo comes by and puts this small fluffy dog in his lap. What the hell is this commercial saying? Obviously, the older brother is a hypocrite and cannot live by his own advice. So should one NOT put chili on their Nachos BellGrande? I'm honestly not sure what the message is. I think the wise thing to do would feed the nachos to dog before his awful Taco Bell farts scare his tattooed girlfriend away.

And here's an AT&T commercial I'd like to see:

"Hi. I'm Ted Bundy. I'm a serial rapist & murderer. I began killing women in Tacoma during the early 70's. I went to law school in Salt Lake City. I escaped from a court house in Aspen and then slaughtered and brutalized college co-eds in Tallahassee. So I need a network that will work where I live, rape and murder: A place called TacoSaltAspAssee."

AND this commercial for the Chevy Malibu where the woman is running along and just WHAM! smacks into the car. Then they have a second commercial where the stupid tart gets right up and runs SMACK right into the car again, revealing some sort of mental defect or abuse at the hands of a lover. Anyhow, the point of the ad is that she ignored the "brand x" car, whereas the Chevy Malibu is a car that cannot be ignored. Not unlike the idiocy of this ad campaign.

And speaking of stupid car commercials: how about that pompous Mercedes commercial where they brag how they spent seven years and 14,000 test crashes just so the doors could handle the weight of a couple fat middle-aged men. Hey, if you kick back by sitting on your car doors, chances are you don't drive a Mercedes. Probably more like something with Yosemite Sam mud flaps. Not to mention that this Mercedes C-class can slow from 80 mph to a complete stop in mere seconds. Yeah, that's fucking safe, especially for the cars behind you.

Mercedes' new slogan should be: You're Not the Only Driver on the Road, but You Can Act Like it.

Happy Halloween!! - Ryan